Graduation. The end of my childhood is what mom and dad said. The only thing is I kind of left that behind a while ago. They were so excited. And still-sad. I finished getting dressed, even using a little make up, took my cap and gown out of the closet and went downstairs. They were all dressed up and waiting with the camera. Mom took a picture as dad met me at the bottom of the steps and hugged me. Then dad took one of mom hugging me.
"Nicky you look beautiful." Mom stepped back to look at me in my dress, that she and I had picked out together. Mom took my hand and led me to the dining room where some presents sat shimmering in their silver paper. Mom picked one up and handed it to me. I opened the long, thin box and found a strand of pearls. Pretty cool I must say.
"Let me." Dad took them from my hand and clasped them around my neck. The pearls felt cool. I liked that. I hugged them both. Their excitement was kind of catching. I let myself get caught up in the fun and the emotion. Dad handed me the next one.
"Nicky we are so proud of you." I smiled happily at him as they watched me open the square box and pull out a gold watch. "Turn it over." I smiled even more at their excitement. They had it engraved, it was a dainty watch and the writing was tiny: 'Time for the rest of your life.' I looked at mom. She actually had her hands up to her mouth, for some reason I pictured her as a little mouse, timid. I laughed and hugged her. I didn't think she would let go of me.
"Peg you're going to mess up her hair." He hugged me again as soon as she let go. There were other presents but dad picked up the smallest box and led us all in to the living room. He motioned for me to sit on the couch. "Nicky, your mom and I wanted to do something special for you...." He looked at mom, at the floor, finally at me again. "You have been everything your mother and I dreamed of from the first time we ever held you." Okay, it's okay to cry. So I started. Dad smiled and reached over to wipe a tear from my cheek. "Well, I didn't mean to make you cry. Anyway...as you are well aware...you are our only child, so you have to indulge us." Giggles from mom. "This isn't very original, but it is something you're going to need." He handed me the small box. Mom's eyes were fixed on my face. I opened the little box and found a key. A car key. I know that meant there's a car. But...I never expected it. Even holding the key...not sure what to do with it. Mom laughed.
"Nicky...your face. Come on, let's go look at it." She nearly yanked me off of the couch with dad right behind us. We went outside. And sure enough there was a little Volkswagon Beetle. Black. I couldn't believe it. We walked up to it. Dad opened the door for me. I got in. It smelled new. Real new. Chemically smelly. Fabric smelly.
I ran my hands over the steering wheel. I looked at the dash. The seats. My hands touched. My eyes looked. "This is mine?" I don't care how unoriginal they thought it was , it was original for me! "I can't believe you bought me a car!" I had never even thought of having a car. If I ever needed one they always let me use one of theirs. "I can't believe you bought me a car!" I said that already didn't I?
"Well, it's not brand new. It's over a year old. Nothing wrong with it though. It looks good. Runs good. We thought it was perfect for you." I hadn't noticed mom taking pictures. Dad was glowing. Mom was grinning. I was busy taking everything in. CD player. Jack to plug in my MP3 player. Air conditioning. I thought I should hug them but I didn't want to get out.
"How about driving us to your graduation?"
"Let's go!" I couldn't wait to drive it. It was mine.
"Wait!" Mom ran in the house and came out with her purse, my cap and gown. Dad ran in and came out carrying his suit jacket. What a beautiful day! I let myself enjoy it. Funny, that I have to let myself relax and smile and laugh. But that's what it was. And that's what I was doing. Life is good. When it's good. Grandma and Grandpa met us at the school. Duty dictated that I kiss them hello. Then I had to run off with my cap and gown and meet the rest of the class in our assigned classrooms to get ready. Mary headed right for me when she saw me. She screeched when she saw me. I screeched right back. Why not? She ran to me and stopped. I could see her debate, she threw caution to the wind and hugged me. I hugged back.
"Isn't this great?" Everyone was milling around and the noise was almost unbearable. Everyone was putting on their black gowns and mortar boards. Some of the girls were crying.
"You are never going to believe what mom and dad got me."
"What?" We were pulling on our gowns and zipping them.
"A CAR!"
"Oh that." She flipped her hand like it was no big deal. Looked away. Then looked back at me laughing. "I KNOW! They asked me what kind of car you would like. I saw it a week ago. Isn't it great!?"
"You knew? How could you know for so long and not tell me?"
"I'm good with secrets." She hugged me again. Yes, she is. Doug had kind of disappeared. My parents didn't think much of it. Often Doug had packed up and moved. Getting a job somewhere else. And then just as sudden he would move back. I didn't care. But I knew why he was gone. And I didn't think he was coming back. This time he had left the weekend mom and dad had gone to aunt Marie's. I figured after I heard them talking about him being gone that he must have come to the house to say goodbye. But who knows.
Before I knew it were lined up and heading out of the classroom to our graduation. It was hot. Everyone was sweating, smiling and crying. I didn't listen much to what was being said. Instead, I sat thinking. Looking at faces I could see, the backs of heads. Most of the faces were so familiar. Most I'd been at this school with for four years. Most, I didn't know very well. I saw Mary, who was all giddy. Of course I knew her the best. Since fall she had been spending a lot of time with Tim. So I had gotten to know him pretty well. Other faces, other names, there were some faces I had seen for years but I couldn't recall their names.
I thought over the last school year. School. Lots of work. With the newspaper. The year book. Studying. Studying was always the hardest. Not too many other things came to mind. I went to the prom so not to disappoint mom and dad. I went with Mary and Tim. And yes, felt like a third wheel. Mary and Tim really didn't seem to mind. We did have a pretty good time. Though for weeks leading up to it I dreaded the thought of it. I am sure that didn't set me up to have a good time. But I surprised myself by actually enjoying it. I even danced a couple of times. But was nervous doing it. Mom and dad were pretty excited. I think they were disappointed there wasn't a boy to take pictures of with me. But they never said anything. I scanned the bleachers full of parents, squirming siblings, yawning grandparents. I saw my family. I grinned. They waved.
I must be a boring kid to them. No excitement. They had respected my decision to get a job and go to night school. I hadn't worked hard enough to get any scholarships. But I was excited about working on my college education. And I was very excited about starting my new job in two weeks. I was pretty surprised when I started going to interviews for jobs. It was a challenge, not always comfortable. But I figured if I got a decent job, staying at home, I could work and afford to pay for a good part of my own education. I was pleasantly surprised when I got the job I wanted the most.
In two weeks I start at the State National Bank. It wasn't a glamorous job but I was happy about the quiet setting I would be working in. Pretty much all I would be doing is loading information on their computer system. I would be pretty isolated from most people. It was close to home. It would let me pay for some of school, in addition to the loans I would have to get. They talked about training me as a teller in case I would have to fill in. That didn't thrill me, but it didn't scare me either. I figured I could do it. The nice part was I'd always be able to depend on the "banker's hours" and wouldn't have to worry about odd work shifts.
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